fagarina's life management files

2002-11-09T18:28:00.000-08:00

Sat 700 11/9 - cont FIRST PART OF THIS ENTRY IS IN MEMBERS ONLY---Along with the 2 keen calls on sun i did a lot of sissy maid cleaning in my pink maids dress with my new maids hat. i cleaned the kitchen very good, vacuumed and dusted everything, and also did my bedroom. iam planning on doing the bathroom top to bottom tomorrow. Cleaning on last Sunday took about 2 hrs all on cam. i also did some fagarobics but almost no one watches that, they seem to hate it, it must be boring. Monday and Thursday of this week i had off. Although i made the mistake of calling PRINCESS twice on monday (once during the day and again late at night) both were long talks and fun for me. However i said it was a mistake cause on the second call PRINCESS used my best buy card on line to get $1000.00 in gift cards for HERSELF to use on the new house. But SHE has the credit cards so i might as well get used to HER using them, it is just a matter of time till SHE uses all of them. (Sears, Best Buy, Home Depot, and Lowes).
So monday night i went to bed 1000 dollars more in debt. Tuesday was awesome i came home from work and my little bo peep outfit was delivered along with my pink tutu. So i got dressed as bo peep and i loved it,,, PRINCESS took a lot of pics too. HER and Venus are going to post them on sites for sissy shack. i had to pose in variours ways to make a dancing fagarina bopeep,,, how f---ed up is that?? Man iam a sissy freak why do i like this stuff. That was pretty much it for tues. i did try on the pink tutu for PRINCESS also. Weds was a new game with just my pink tutu on and a sissy white cotton top. PRINCESS had me wear just the pink tutu with no panties so my little wee wee was showing and i had on the white top. PRINCESS was finally gonna let me cum which i have not done for about 3-4 months maybe 4. PRINCESS has been sayin iam a sissy with low testosterone who probably will dribble out a little bit of weak dizzy sperm. i have been saying that i need to cum and that ill cum a lot and even shoot it out 3 or 4 inches. PRINCESS says a real man could shoot it out at least 6 inches and that his cum will be thick, not thin and watery like mine probably is. So i had to set up
masking tape on the floor and put inch marks on it to see how far i could shoot it. PRINCESS made me sit on the floor with legs spread and the cam on me so everyone could watch as SHE gave me directions on the mic. i got hard pretty fast and everyone was laughing, one mistress even said my wee wee was hard to see on cam cause it was so small. They could see though. PRINCESS kept telling me that if i did not cum whe SHE told me too that i was not gonna be able to cum again until something like New Years. So i was worried about getting nervous and not cumming in time when SHE said it was ok to cum. Finally PRINCESS said i could cum, so i was ready and came in less than 10 seconds. Although PRINCESS said i had up to 30 seconds to cum i couldnt slow it down and came right away. PRINCESS and some of the other mistresses couldnt believe it, it was too fast, some said hey "I blinked and missed it". PRINCESS really couldnt believe it SHE was kind of mad SHE and some of the others missed it. But once SHE got passed that point SHE laughed like i never heard HER laugh before, than really started laughing when SHE asked how far it shot out and i had to tell HER that it didnt shoot out at all. It just dribbled out of my wee wee and dropped straight down to the carpet. Thtat put PRINCESS SIERRA over the edge, SHE laughed and laughed like crazy.It was like this for about 10 minutes PRINCESS just laughed
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha and laughed and wrote humiliating things about me in chat. Saying i came in less than 10 seconds SHE had never seen anyone cum so fast. Then i had to show HER the cum on my hand and lick it off. (that cum was acually fairly thick i thought). i licked off my hand on cam close up for all to see. Then i had to show PRINCESS the spot where the cum dropped down to, there was no distance at all it was right on the starting pointe of measuring. PRINCESS saw that and also saw that it was quite thin there so that sent HER into another laughing fit. i then had to lick up the cum off the carpet that was gross and very humiliating cause everyone was still laughing especially PRINCESS.

2002-11-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

i still havent talked about last friday the 25th. From
what i remember PRINCESS sent me in chat and i had been wining about
something, i cant remember what, but SHE wanted me to give myself 50 whaps
on each cheek of my ass. SHE then upped it to 100 on each side. My two other
favorite Mistresses Sinn and Storm were in the chat room and PRINCESS told
me to ask them to make sure i was hitting hard enough and they would
determine if after the 100 on each side, if i could quit. Well i did both sides and
was pretty pink on my ass cheeks, but Mistress Sinn said i needed more, i
think it was 20 on each, then finally another 10 was determined to be enough.
Lucky for me cause it was really starting to hurt and i did not want any more, i
forgot to say i was using a plastic spoon. While i was spanking myself some of
the mistresses were saying real nice things about me being a good and loyal
slave. They said when PRINCESS SIERRA tells me to do things i do them right
away, no questions asked, if PRINCESS says jump i jump before even asking
how high. Anyways when they were saying those things it makes me feel real
good and proud to be PRINCESS'S slave. However some of the other people
were saying that i liked to do everything i do and thats why i do it. The other
mistresses said i do not like everything i do, and that i hate some of it. They
came to that conclusion they said by reading my journals and seeing what iam
really like. The others disagreed and said the mistresses were wrong. Well i
want to take this opportunity to say those mistresses, (especially Mistress
Storm, Sinn, Bella, Astrid and some others)are right!! i hate a lot of the things i
do. Just to name a few,, i hate piss diets, i hate pain, i hate public humiliation
(not cam humiliation), i hate being on cam 5 nights a week, i hate not having
money, i really really really hate putting things in my ass, i mean i could go on
and on. Its true there are lots of other things i like, such as dressing as a sissy
for PRINCESS, giving HER gifts and money and many other things. But i do the
things i hate because i love PRINCESS SIERRA and its the price i have to pay
for being HER slave. iam very lucky in some ways and i know that, so i have to
do things i dont like to please HER. Do you think SHE would let me talk to HER
daily sometimes for more than an hour if i did not do what SHE wanted. i get to
see HER on cam, iam gonna be HER sissy slave in person. i get to recieve
attention from a very beautiful, super smart (genius i bet), funny, awesome
woman. iam just a ugly middle aged sissy boy how else can i recieve HER
attention. i also get attention from the other mistresses in chat, that is an
honor also. If i wasnt an obiediant little wimp do you think that would be
possible. i worship PRINCESS and i am smart enough to realize that i cant
recieve HER attention if i dont do everything SHE tells me. It doesnt really
matter what people think, but i sure dont enjoy everthing i do, i do it cause i
serve the greatest, prettiest, PRINCESS in the world. Quite an honor for a little
sissy boy.

posted by fagarina at 7:20 PM

2002-10-19T17:32:00.000-07:00

still sat,, cant write much more have to do some cleaning cause im only on half day tomorrow. But wanted to tell you what PRINCESS made me do tuesday for dinner. i had to buy pork chops and dehydrated mashed potatoes. Of course i had to use pee instead of water to make the potatoes, they cooked up ok but they were so gross it was unreal of course i ate them all. PRINCESS SIERRA would except no less than me finishing it. i also had to pose in my new angel outfit on friday night. i bought a cute pink halo and huge pink feathery wings. i got a lot of laughs in the mistress room, but when i go in the sissy room its amazing how many messages i get form sissys.
Lastly i want to say thurs night i was in a sissy room and got a message from a guy who was really interested in how i serve PRINCESS SIERRA. i talked to him a while and told him a lot and then i convinced him to call PRINCESS that night. He did and it looks like he is also gonna become a webcam slave like me,, we may both serve on cam. His new name is sissy puddles and you wont believe this but he is messaging me right now. i think that is too much of a coincidence, we are meant for PRINCESS SIERRA HELL together. SHE also made him buy a cam today, he performed for HER this afternoon and has lots of tasks to perform. He is gonna have to decorate his place too. i dont think iam looking forward to this i have a scarey feeling PRINCESS SIERRA is gonna make us do a lot of freaky stuff together on cam. If he is real we are in for much more than either one of us dreamed of iam sure. PRINCESS will carry us deeper and deeper into our freaky selves than we know. PRINCESS has quite the imagination we will end up doing things we never thought of. Stay tuned if you want to see some real submissive sissy stuff, two little fairies for PRINCESS, it will be unreal and scarey.

2002-10-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

moved to members only

2002-10-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

its sat 10/19 and i have not written since thurs 10/10 and that was in the members only file,, PRINCESS is having me write in the free area today so ill try and repeat some of the members stuff for people who havent read it cause they are not members. But please join PRINCESS SIERRA'S site its well worth it and if you join her site you can see all my fagarina.com stuff, including journal for free. Lately in the members journal i was telling everyone how PRINCESS is getting a new house and SHE made me apply for several credit cards. i was accepted by all of them so SHE is fairly happy with me right now. i got a best buy and a sears card for her new washer and dryer, and refrigerator that PRINCESS gonna need. i also got a lowes card and home depot, when i got the cards PRINCESS made me make different signs on different days. i had to hold the signs up and stand still on cam totally naked with just a little pink baby sock on my little wee-wee tied with a pink ribbon. The signs would say things like best buy is stupid they just gave me credit, but iam stupider cause iam buying PRINCESS a new washer and dryer. PRINCESS would make me stand there naked for an hour holding the sign..one day i leaned against the wall and got more time added on, then i got fidgety and had more added on, i was standing there for almost 2 hrs in chat. People laughed a lot, especially at my goofy face cause i had to smile all the time for PRINCESS and i ended up contorting my face while doing it. There is so much to talk about cause i have not written in free area since the 9/28. iam back on the pee diet ( peeing on dinner every night and eating it). Although its not as strict as last time, i dont have to take pics daily and mail to PRINCESS. i just do it in chat or in front of PRINCESS, and i dont do it on my days off, mon and weds. It seems to get harder and harder to do though them more i do it the more i feel sick from it. i have also had to eat baby food on cam, but i did not pee on that. The other mistresses were making me move my arm like an airplane and feed myself the way a mother does with her child..They also had me make airplane noises on the mic in chat while i did it. That had some of the mistresses laughing a lot, while freaking out some non sub guys.But they should not be in there anyways.

2002-09-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

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its saturday night 900 ive written in journal on weds but i posted it to my notebook if you want to read it go there please. iam too ignorant to fix it maybe PRINCESS SIERRA will fix it. Well last night i was pretty busy and this part im writing is gonna sound like sour grapes but i dont care cause its what i feel and i want to be honest with everyone about my feelings. im only writing this cause some mistresses in the chat room have been saying how boring iam and how their subs are so great. ive said many times its hard for me and even PRINCESS to think of interesting things for me to do. When the other mistresses say this it bothers me a little cause its kind of insulting to PRINCESS. One mistress was bragging about how she can make slaves do anything, so she got some guy to put chicken in his ass and wipe american cheese in his ass. Thats all good but when i clicked on the guys cam to watch cause some were talking about it in chat, all i see is a camera shot from his lower back and down. Big Deal. She got a guy to do that stuff without him showing his face at all, hell she did him a favor he got off on that and no one saw his face and he did not have to pay her. This is the same mistress that rips me for being boring. PRINCESS gets slaves like me to do that kind of stuff and puts are faces all over her website and half the internet with her banners. PRINCESS has me on webcam 5 nights a week showing my face all the time, regularly, not just shots of me from the lower midriff and down. Iam not saying what the guy did was totally boring cause it wasnt but what is that mistress getting all cocky about like she is the first one to get a slave to do something weird. If he showed a little of his face id respect her a lot more but she has no reason to be so arrogant, hell i think i could get some horney guy to do that too as long as he gets to hide his face and not pay me.
Another mistress was also ripping me for not being sissy enough or girl like, saying that i need to take sissy lessons from either her or her sissy slave, i cant remember which one. She was bragging how much of a real TV her slave is unlike me. Saying she was gonna have him in chat, well that was 3 days ago and he (she) has still not been on, where is he (she)? If she is such a great mistress then get his ass on cam, im busy as hell but PRINCESS doesnt care. im on whether i want to be or not. Not only that this mistress doesnt even get that im not on cam to be a TV, im on there for entertainment to people in chat on behalf of PRINCESS SIERRA, and to show people that i basically serve HER 24/7 whenever SHE wants. im not a man passing to be a woman or a tv, im a slave thats on there to be humiliated by his PRINCESS to do whatever SHE says. My dressing up as a sissy isnt to show how womanly i can be its to show how silly i can look but will still do it for my PRINCESS. PRINCESS (and myself) for that matter are not trying to show how womanly iam, SHE doesnt give a shit about that. SHE just wants to use me and show what a puppet iam for her. AND again, as i said im on 5 nights a week, while the other 2 mistresses have one guy with no face on and another sissy im still waiting to see. So quit saying im boring all the time until you 2 can do a little better. i know iam boring sometimes but at least iam on cam. And my PRINCESS isnt so arrogant about nothing like the other 2 are.
Anyways now that i got that off my chest ill say what i did last night. iam still trying to get out of eating a bar of soap, so i had to do a lot to keep PRINCESS happy and SHE wasnt even in chat. But i did it with witnesses. First i had to piss on dinner, yes thats starting again PRINCESS says im too fat and this might help me lose weight. So i bought a pizza and pissed all over it and ate 3 pieces. i also peed a lot cause i hold it half the day do i can make sure i pee when i get home. The other problem with that is that by the time i get home i really have to pee and cant hold it anymore. After pizza i waited a while to do anything else this was the time when the guy was putting chix brst up his ass. So i listened to that in chat cause i didnt think i should watch,,, but after a while it sounded interesting so i clicked on his cam. i was disappointed when all i saw was his ass and not his whole body. But the mistresses in chat were amused thats what made me turn it on. After he was done i got out a sausage and put mayo on it, lube it up and slowly put it in my ass. Only 3 were watching at first then about 10 people eventually saw me put the sausage in my ass. After that i ate the sausage the whole thing. Finally i was thirsty and PRINCESS wants me drinking more piss so i peed in a big glass, it was very strong and about an 1 1/2 hours after i peed on the pizza so there was a lot of it. i have to start drinking more water to make it not so strong. i drank it all with my penis-straw on cam and got another stomach ache from it. Some people like it when i do that cause they think its funny and weird, while others hate it. That was pretty much it for friday night. thanks for letting me vent. Today is saturday and i have to stay home as usual, while PRINCESS goes out all night and parties with her friends. i kinda of like waiting for HER to come home cause it makes me feel like such a sissy but on the other hand the time goes slow waiting for her. Plus SHE gets home so late that if i do get to talk to HER im up till 400 in the morning. Which makes sunday even harder and thats my real long day, im on cam for at least 8 hrs.

2002-09-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

Weds 1000pm sunday did i a lot of cleaning it was sissy maid day. after a little fagarobics i put on my ballet outfit, my favorite one. i
spent most of the night doing a video with the ballerina outfit on. i also had to send 2 takes to PRINCESS.SHE liked it and made one
video out of it. Its now in members only, thank god. Monday i was off. Tuesday i made a big mistake. i went out after work and did not
get home till 1230 and i did not have permission to go out. i never meant too stay out that late it just happened. PRINCESS was so
pissed i think it was the maddest ever. SHE said i had to eat a bar of soap i cried and cried and begged and begged for another
chance. i cant eat soap,,, i hope i cried my way out of it but im not sure..i honestly think i deserve another chance and i think
PRINCESS may give it too me. i already have to eat a gross dinner of anchovies, beets, and jalepeno peppers for watching football on
saturday. But at least i told HER the truth and admitted i watched football,,i knew SHE said i couldnt watch it but i was not at home and
thought it would be ok. But for the tuesday night thing though SHE was really pissed rightfully so. That was a piggy move on my part it
wont happen again. When i make up my mind to be really good and obiedant to PRINCESS i can do so. i plan on making it up to HER
with my sissy obiediant ways. i love PRINCESS SIERRA so much and want to make her happy and proud of me.

2002-09-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

Sunday 300 friday was a long night but i liked it cause i spent it on line with PRINCESS and SHE was in a good mood. PRINCESS had sent me to the store for a wedding dress and i could not find one. But SHE let me buy a raggedy ann outfit and the costume store. PRINCESS is very good to me most of the time. SHE knew i really wanted to dress up for her so SHE let me get it. So i bought it and came home and put it on for PRINCESS and SHE sent me in chat. Most people really liked it and laughed a lot making me pose with everreadyteddy and rico. There are pictures in members only of www.fagarina.com. (commercial here: its only $9 a month for fagarina.com and it would make PRINCESS very happy if people joined,, so please join i need a lot of help to keep PRINCESS happy...if you join ill pose any way you want on cam). So i wore the outfit for a while then PRINCESS sent me in a men wear panties chat room, which is like a gay chat room.Then all hell broke loose. It was slow at first but then it grew and grew, 25 people were watching at any one time. i got messages from almost all guys at least 25-35 different ones, they liked raggedy ann but almost everyone wanted to see my panties. The outfit was awesome why did they want to see my panties. But that worked out great i was wearing the new panties i bought that have the flashin red heart that lights up. They loved it were making requests like crazy to see me naked and show my ass and little cock.

2002-09-20T18:41:00.000-07:00

Friday 925pm know that i finally wrote about last saturaday i just wanted to mention last night real quick. It was pretty slow i just had my nightie on and PRINCESS made me go out and buy a popsicle so i could fuck my ass with it. i did go get one real quick and put it in my ass on cam. i got most of it in when it broke off, i knew PRINCESS wouldnt like that so i left it in, fortunately i think PRINCESS was not watching at this time. But man was that cold it was freezing i am such a pussy i hate pain and ice and all that torture stuff it doesnt turn me on at all. Well i forced the rest of the popsicle in for a while, then PRINCESS messaged me and (SHE was watching now i think) told me to eat the rest on cam, which i did. i forgot to mention that i had on a diaper and bonnet on my head with a bib while i did this. The mistresses in chat were talking about me part of the time too. It was awesome many said i was a good and loyal slave to PRINCESS SIERRA even though iam a freak. This made me feel very proud to be PRINCESS SIERRA'S slave. They even said that some of the other so called slaves could be more loyal like me.Instead of making fun of me they could be more submissive like me.

2002-09-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

Friday 845pm i still havent written about last saturday yet i may have forgotten some of it but i do know it was a long day. PRINCESS wanted me on cam early so i got on at 11am or so to work on my new $40 dresser that i bought for my panties, nighty and other sissy clothing. i really needed the dresser cause i was getting to much new sissy stuff with no where to put it. It was such a cheap dresser that i had to put it together, unlike the $2000 dresser i bought for PRINCESS that isnt coming in until january. i decided to put the dresser together on cam. It took quite a while even though it was easy to do, there were probably about a 100 screws and nails and other pieces to put together. Its really simple for someone who has a powerscrewdriver but sissies like me dont have those so i had to put all the screws in by hand. And naturally at one point i put a bunch on the wrong side so i had to take them out and fix them, i did that twice adding at least 45 minutes to my little project. i stopped around 100 to take a break and go out. i started back up around 430 in the afternoon and finished by around 530-600 doing it while on cam and in chat the whole time morning and late afternoon. Not many saw me in the morning but quite a few did in the afternoon, they were mostly laughing at me cause it was taking me so long. i even heard my favorite Mistress Storm n dc (besides PRINCESS SIERRA of course) laughing cause she couldnt figure out what i was doing because i had so much stuff laying around all over, someone else in chat told her i working on my dresser. She said that was what she thought but it was hard to tell with all that shit spread all over the room. The people in chat even gave me some useful advice to set the screws in place instead of screwing each one all the way in before starting the next one. That person said he felt bad for me that i was painful to watch i was so slow. But he was good about it one of the few times a guy in chat was nice too me, instead of calling me a loser freak. It actually made me feel good that he was nice about it and it was very useful advice. So when i finally finished the dresser i brought it in my room and started loading it up with my sissy stuff, bringing the cam in there too so everyone who wanted to could watch. i also dressed up the dresser with barbie wall stickers and put my doll and everreadyteddy on the top of the dresser. i thought it looked really good when it was all set up and my sissy stuff put away. i knew PRINCESS would like it when SHE saw it, which SHE did right before SHE went out for HER usual saturday night partying. SHE is so cool, what a life PRINCESS lives. While SHE was out partying i was told to stay home and perform and then wait up for HER until around 200-300 am when SHE got home. Which is what i did, first there was fagarobics which no one ever watches, then i put on a few different outfits and performed and danced on cam. Once in my new balerina outfit and also as tinkerbell, the haters were out big saturday night, and so were the watch me jack off guys i got lots of IM's. i think some guys see the name fagarinatoprincesssierra and dont read it real good but they see iam on cam while glancing at the name and come up with the dumb idea that im a women. i think thats why i get some of the watch me jack off guys and other guys who think im a women whos gonna strip for them. These guys are so fucking worked up and stupid its unreal. What kind of women is gonna strip or perform for a guy for no money. Are there women who really do that?? But like i said many times before some of these guys know that im a man and still want to jack off for me or have me strip and do kinky stuff for them.
Anyways i performed all night like PRINCESS said, although i took a break and kind of slept on cam a little after midnight till 100 or so. But then i got up and performed a little more and made a sign for PRINCESS welcoming HER home. There are pictures of me and the sign in PRINCESS SIERRA'S announcements. It was a lot of fun to sit there and wait for PRINCESS around 2am and anticipate when SHED be home. Finally at 245 SHE got home and i was there with my sign like a good sissy. But that was the longest 45 minutes in my life waiting for HER to come home. Plus i got to talk to HER on the phone after that so it was all worth it. i live to talk to PRINCESS on the phone. Although i think SHE ended up taking another $200 from me that night (or morning). SHE has me so out of control with this financial domination now that SHE takes so much money from me i cant keep track without looking at my accts. And as you know the sad part is i love whe PRINCESS takes my money out of my acct while iam talking to HER. Not only can i not stop HER i go from begging HER not to take it, to begging HER to take it, and then thanking HER for taking it. And as all that happens my little dick gets hard, boy how fucked up is that.

2002-09-19T17:36:00.000-07:00

Thurs 650pm, when i finished writing on tuesday i never got to saturday which i spent about 11 hours on cam between the hours of 11am and 100am. But before i get to that i have to tell you what a disaster tuesday night was after i had finished my journal. i got on chat and there were a lot of people in there but i was kind of boring, not doing enough to entertain them. i put on my cow outfit and crawled around a little than PRINCESS messaged me to get it on with rico. Telling me to put my cow teets in ricos mouth and have him give me oral. i did that for a while than i gave rico oral also. As i do this stuff some people are amused and like it or at least watch it. While i ll also get messages from others saying what a freak and sick fuck iam, also saying i need mental help. (like i dont know that). Anyways me and rico got it on for a long time but i guess it was too boring. PRINCESS went into chat after i had been in there about an hour, SHE doesnt go in nearly as much as me, iam sent in there to perform. Finally PRINCESS told me i could go to bed around 11pm. Like a fool i didnt leave chat right away, and those couple minutes were all PRINCESS needed to come up with another idea, SHE is so creative. PRINCESS told me to go get my toothbrush, i did and brought it by cam. PRINCESS than told me to put it up my ass the whole thing!!!! i got some in, it burns cause of the bristles. i finally got about half in but that was not good enough PRINCESS demanded more. i tried for 15 minutes at least maybe more but could not do it im too much of a pussy, i hate pain. i even took it out and begged for mercy, but got none, PRINCESS demanded i put it back in which i did. i again got it about half way but could not get it in more. PRINCESS was getting very angry and i hate when SHE is like that HER temper is nuts. SHE got more angry as i kept trying and failing.SHE also threatened to take money if i failed. i failed and PRINCESS demanded that i call HER right away SHE was pissed. Then before i called some mistresses in chat said i didnt even have the toothbrush half way in. Because it hurt so much when i did it, i took offense and got lippy with the mistresses in chat, that made PRINCESS even more pissed. But i honestly didnt care about the other mistresses cause i was pissed, it hurt a lot and i wasnt lieing no matter what they said i had it in at least half way and that is hard to do. Well i called PRINCESS and SHE was very angry and said SHE was taking 300. i begged HER not to but SHE was too pissed and didnt care that i had written checks for all the money that was in my chking act. After SHE took the 300 PRINCESS demanded to see my little dick, saying SHE knows it got hard from HER taking the money. i showed HER and you know what, SHE was right i was hard. Man iam so messed up why was i hard, i just put a toothbrush half way up my ass (forgot to say i brushed my teeth with it on cam after i took it out of my ass), failed to please PRINCESS, lost $300 i dont have and here i was with a hard on. SHE has me totally turned on to HER taking my money. That is unreal, what am i gonna do?

2002-09-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

Tues 9/17 8pm, sorry have not written in 5 days. My life is out of control i worship PRINCESS SIERRA more than ever i cant go more than 36 hours without talking to PRINCESS in some way. ive turned into a financial slave too and dont even know how, PRINCESS is so smart SHE did it to me wihtout me knowing. ive already asked HER if we can go to an ATM while i visit HER and have PRINCESS take my money out of my acct while i stand next to HER like a sissy and give HER my card and password. i also want to go shopping and have HER use my department store card while i walk behind HER. This is gonna happen when i visit there will be no way for me to stop it. If i have any brains at all ill just stay home, but i know i cant do that. Ill just end up going out there and be sorry i cant give PRINCESS more money. It turns me on like crazy to give HER money while SHE laughs at me. SHE is so superior and iam such a pathetic wimp, iam sure everyone in public will see that while iam with HER.

The last time i wrote was thursday evening, i was on cam for a short time thursday night after writing in my journal. i had to leave early for an emergency, PRINCESS was not happy about that. i was also on friday night and a long, long time on saturday to make up for not being on the next day, sunday normally my longest day.
Thursday after finishing my journal i put on my long awaited ballerina outfit PRINCESS found on the net. Pictures are already posted on fagarina.com members only i think. Its a great sissy outfit for me and fits good, just a little tight. Nothing a couple months of fagarobics would
not fix. i dance on cam for 20-30 minutes while PRINCESS took a few pics.
Friday was pretty good too i got to wear my ballerina outfit again cause i wore it for such a short time on thursday. I danced in chat a lot and
answered a lot of instant messages from yahoo messanger. i cant believe how many people i talk too on line who are intrigued by this fagarina ownership by PRINCESS SIERRA. Lots of horny guys some wanting me to perform crazy things, others telling me what a freak iam and some really cool mistresses. Mistress Storm in DC being my favorite.
Later someone watching got me to start obeying their commands, i think it was another slave. He had me pee on a pair of panties while i was still in my ballet outfit, standing over the toilet. After i peed in the panties i had to put them in my mouth and hold them for a count of 10, then dunk my head in the toilet for another count of 10. Then i had to dunk panties in toilet and fish them out. More dunks and counts of 10 and 20. Finally PRINCESS got involved and had me throw pretzels in piss filled toilet and eat them, this went on for 10 minutes and a lot of pretzels. I forgot to say that i had been pissing in toilet for about a day and a half without flushing it. PRINCESS wants me to try and leave toilet full of pee or at least save cups full in the fridge. If i have to use toilet for the other reason i dont save it, that part of toilet slavery i truelly hate and think its so sick and gross. i know there are lots of other things i want too say but ive forgotten some, lets just say PRINCESSES control is now out of control. She too 200 twice last week and has me engaged to rico, no watching sports on tv anymore, no friends, just rico, my new doll and everrreadyteddy.

2002-09-12T17:06:00.000-07:00

Thurs 730pm just home from work changed into sissy clothes and got on line to check email and write in journal. Tuesday night was quite a night after i finished my journal. PRINCESS had me set up the tea party for me and my new friends since im not really allowed any real ones. It was just me rico, everreadyteddy, and my new doll to be named later. There are pics of the party in www.fagarina.com. We all had on party hats and noise makers and played pin the tail on the donkey while everyone in chat watched (money doms for ) iam still not sure of the chats exact name.
They found it very amusing and laughed a lot at our party. i got very dizzy playing pin the tail on the donkey and sucked at it. i had the tail on the wrong wall one time and never in the right spot. One person watching wanted to see me naked and also had me put my little dick in ricos mouth, thier messanger name was a female but i think it might have been a guy. When people want to see me naked or parts of me id say its a guy 80% of the time. After tea me and rico got hot and heavy for a long time, rico had his hand down my panties for everyone in chat to see. The people in chat were laughing and commenting about me and rico, they noticed his hand in my panties. They also were commenting how much PRINCESS SIERRA has me trained, saying ive moved into this smaller apt so i can give HER more money. i cant go out, SHE has all my bank account numbers and passwords, how my room is decorated by HER demands, and all the other ways SHE controls me. What they didnt say, cause they dont know is how PRINCESS has turned me into a financial slave too, something ive always told HER i was not. SHE always said SHE would turn me into one. ive always said that even though im a freak and really, really submissive that i dont get turned on just giving a mistress money. i have always given them money because its part of the deal of being a sub, but it didnot turn me on. Know PRINCESS SIERRA has me begging HER to give HER money, and while i do it i always get a hard on. i asked her late tuesday night to take 200 from me and it got me excited. So PRINCESS just laughed and went into my acct and took 200 dollars. it really made me horny and want to give HER more money, too bad i dont have more im like totally broke, i mean both accts have like $100 each. It was right after PRINCESS took my 200 that SHE reminded me how i used to say i was not a financial slave. i was shocked when SHE said that, PRINCESS was right i was a financial slave now and didnt even realize it, i knew SHE controled my money, but not that it turned me on so much. Once again PRINCESS was right when SHE said SHE would turn me into a financial slave and train me to be one. SHE had also tricked me and done this without me knowing it was happening. i am in even deeper know i cant believe how addicting this is and how im never going to get out of HER spell. Not that i want too though, iam too crazy about PRINCESS and dont want to stop, i just wish i had more to give HER. Yep SHE has me just where SHE wants me and always where SHE said i would be. Right under her thumb.

2002-09-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night 8pm got yesterday off, which was a much needed break even though i just got back. Sunday i was on cam for about 7 hrs with a little shower break after fagarobics, (3pm-10pm). As i had stated in journal sunday at 100pm i started the sissy maid cleaning at 230. i vacuumed the whole apt and the dusted with my pink feather duster. One mistress watching on cam smartly suggested that i get 2 feather dusters like her slave has. It has a dildo attached to the feather duster and her slave has 2 of them so he can put one in his ass and one in his mouth so he can dust with both and get those hard to reach spots. Why are mistresses so much smarter than us, what a great idea she has. PRINCESS SIERRA is also about 100 times smarter than me an always has good ideas too. After dusting i had to clean the kitchen floor, i kinda hate doing that its such a gross job. About 12 people watched me clean i think they are starting to like it cause they like my pink french maids outfit i wear. Once cleaning was done i changed on cam to my fagarobics outfit, this was enough to gross another mistress out who quickly messaged me and told me get some clothes on. (she didnt realize i was changing outfits, she thought i was just getting naked for the cam). Most women and mistresses are grossed out when im naked on cam, they like me better with sissy clothing on. Its the guys who are always asking me to get nude, while others invite me to watch them jack off ( that is so gross too watch i always turn them down, now but the first few i didnt know thats what they were gonna do so i saw it on cam for a few seconds). i dont know why so many guys want to see me naked or have me watch them jack off, when iam in a financial dom chat room, why dont they go to a gay chat room. i swear their more gay than submissive, but im such a freak myself i guess i should not complain. I would strip for them if theyd donate to PRINCESS or call her line but a lot never do so i get sick of trying to fulfill their requests its a waste of time and i dont want to see them jack off, its like i know now how a woman feels when she goes on line. Why are so many guys such pigs, i guess we get so horny that we can not control ourselves. But what makes a guy think anyone wants to see him jack off its so gross no one wants to see it, especially women they are to classy for such piggish and whoreish behavior.
So after i change to workout outfit i did fagarobics but only 2 people watched it must be very boring and not funny, plus i suck at it so no one ever watches. But PRINCESS told me SHE doesnt care iam too fat and i need to lose weight so SHE is going to continue to make me work out even if no one watches. I told HER no one watches and tried to weasel out of doing it in the future but PRINCESS would have no part of it, and told me not to even think about quitting fagarobics cause SHE wont let me.
After fagarobics i took a shower (plus i ate dinner i left the cam on but it wasnt on me as i cooked and ate, so i really wasnt on 7 full hours). After the shower PRINCESS had come home from dinner with her girlfriend and made me go in chat for the rest of the night. i had to go in chat and post the fagarina macerana video for people to watch. Some of the mistresses really liked it and laughed a lot, PRINCESS SIERRA is also in it and looks really hot. SHE also did a really awesome job of producing the video i dont know how she gets us both in the same video when we are miles apart. GOD IS SHE BEAUTIFUL you have to see it. Once that amusement slowed down PRINCESS made me set up cam in the bathroom and had me stick my head in the toilet full of 2-3 days worth of piss for 20 minutes only coming up for air when i had too. It started out with about 8-10 watching but then only 4-5 watched i think some people get grossed out while others love it. Finally my 20 minutes was up and i got to wash up and go to bed. Now its 845 and time to get ready for my party with rico, everreadyteddy, and my new doll. All of the party will be on cam of course, actually im late i should have started around 800 but i started this journal and couldnt stop. iam sure this party will further my freaky enslavement to PRINCESS but as long as it amuses HER iam happy, plus maybe i can talk to her tonight on the phone when the party is over. Just to let everyone know when i get to talk to PRINCESS its not phone sex or her dominating me. SHE hasnt let me cum in about 2 months and its making me crazy, but i still love just getting to talk to her on the phone and having HER tell me what SHE has planned for the future, plus SHE is so smart its amazing.

2002-09-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Sunday sept 8th sorry havent been on line for about 8-10 days last night was the first time. Naturally PRINCESS had to make it amusing for everyone and humiliating for me. i had to do our own fagarina version of macarana on cam. First i had to sing live in chat on the mic then after singing i had to perform the macarana dance on cam in full mexican dress up and shaking the maracas. i also had to make a video after that which took about 10 takes. It will be in members area for sure, but knowing PRINCESS it will probably be in HER free area too. i told HER she gives way too much for free. But believe it or not its not all about the money for PRINCESS, SHE truely loves to dominate and humiliate for fun, i think thats why her site is so good and why so much is free. PRINCESS likes showing off how silly and stupid SHE can make us wimps and freaks perform. ill give you the lines i had to sing live on chat,, they are as follows "Hello my name is fagarina, i like to drink me pee and play in my diarhea. Princess takes all my money and says see ya wouldnt want to be ya. Hey fagarina." Now go back and read that again but do it to the rythym of the macerana song, it matches up pretty good. Of course PRINCESS wrote all the words. Up to 17 people in "money slaves for mistresses listened to me sing that and do the macerana live, while they laughed their asses off with PRINCESS.
Well its sunday afternoon so i have to go do sissy house cleaning in my pink maids outfit and then do fagarobics, iam getting fatter again, PRINCESS wants me to lose 10lbs. After those two chores are done ill probably have to stick my head in my toilet full of piss, Ive been getting requests for that and PRINCESS saw it in my email, since SHE checks it often. So SHE has had me pissing in my tiolet for 2 days without flushing it

2002-08-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

THURSDAY night well its really friday morning now,, what a bad week. Mon and weds off but tuesday ill never forget as long as i live. Princess made me suck this guys dick thats been wanting to meet me for 9 months. SHE made me call him and set up a time to meet we did it tues night. and PRINCESS made us take pics where you can just see me. He was very polite and probably more gay than bi but he let me dress up like a sissy and serve him cause he really wanted to meet. So i got dressed up and sucked him it was way different than i thought it would be. A dick tastes almost like rubber not like regular skin like i thought it would. That doesnt mean i liked it either cause i didnt. He wanted to fuck me but i would not let him, even though he was 6'3" tall and about 220 i doubt i could have stopped him. Anyways he came in my mouth, i didnt swallow it i let it fall out on him, there wasnt a lot of taste to his cum either. i think that is a good thing. After he came i got cleaned up and talked to him a little he was molested at a young age and definately likes guys more than women he said. When we finished talking i went home and showed PRINCESS the pics on cam..naturally SHE wants me to send them to HER. i didnt have to perform tuesday night after sucking that guy, i just layed on the bed in my pink pajamas and talked on line and posed for PRINCESS also. SHE took more pics for website.
Tonight i was in chat for 3 hrs and posed in my nightie ,,,played on my bed ,, talked like the fairy i am on the mike everyone thought that was hilarious. i like some of the other mistresses they are very nice to me, i want to say which ones but i dont know if i should. Most of the guys say im crazy, but some are really interested cause they are submissive too. Others want to feel better about themselves so they make fun of me. Well i sucked one cock so i guess im cocksucker forever, but it made PRINCESS laugh and it made her happy so it was worth it. i just hope i dont have to do it again. But with PRINCESS iam not sure how good my odds are.

2002-08-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday 720 just wrote for 40 minutes and lost it again what a dumbass. Sorry this is gonna be short. First i have to correct something when i was writing about tuesday night i said i didnt do the 3rd take of flight of the bumblebee i was wrong. (i have to write about it here cause im too stupid to edit this thing). It was not bumblebee that i didnot do the 3rd take on it was tinkerbell and PRINCESSES 3 wishes.
Anyways on sat i called PRINCESS and she gave me a grocery list for cam on sat night. On the list was 1 gallon of miracle whip, 1 large large can of fruit cocktail, 2 cans dog food big ones, whipped cream, and 2 1/2 doz eggs along with the gallon of pee PRINCESS has been making me save. i also bought a hula hoop. Once i got home i got dressed in my pig outfit with the new ears, nose and sissy little pink panties to hide my tiny wiener. PRINCESS had me start out by dumping the gallon of pee (4 qt containers) on my head and body while i was sitting in my little kiddy pool. Next i opened one of the big cans of dog food ALPO of course and had to take a big spoonful in my mouth. After that i poured the rest and the other can on my head. While i was doing this PRINCESS SIERRA came into chat and saved me from 2 guys who were making fun of me in chat. SHE was awesome and shut those guys up in no time, they were kissing her ass immediately and im not exaggerating. SHE had them in the palm of HER hand, even another mistress said boy you guys sure changed your tune since PRINCESS SIERRA came in here. One of the guys has a video of himself jumping rope dressed like ALICE IN WONDERLAND on PRINCESS'S site. SHE even posted the link in chat. i think this embarassed him cause he hasnt said anything to me since and he was praising PRINCESS in the chat room. The other guy even was kissing her ass and he didnt say another word about or too me. Although he messaged me today when PRINCESS was not around. i was so honored when PRINCESS was sticking up for me in chat it was great, it makes me worship HER even more. i was clapping for her when SHE was tearing those guys up. i am so weak without HER i just worship the ground SHE walks on. Watching her was incredible SHE is so smart and strong and can handle anybody who gets in HER way. SHE is truely superior to me and other men especially men in that chat room.
So after both cans of dog food were dumped on my head i had to crack the 30 eggs and i mean all of them. i proceeded to crack all 30 eggs on my head and body and drain them on me, that was a lot of egg ylk. After the eggs was the fruit cocktail it was almost a gallon of syrup and fruit all over myself what a mess. PRINCESS than made me take big spoonfuls out of the pool and eat them. Then came the miracle whip and whip cream. The whip cream was good but the miralcle whip was really oily and gross. Finally i tried to hula hoop, naturally i sucked at it. PRINCESS actually left chat after the fruit cocktail, and after a little hula hoop i got out of pool and took a long shower. It took a long time to clean myself up. i also cleaned up the room a little after the shower. i didnt clean up the pool i wanted to save that for today cause sunday is sissy fagarina maid clean up day. I just finished before i started this journal today it took over an hour to clean the pool. i did it on cam and many people were asking what the hell was i doing. i also vacuumed and cleaned up on cam for PRINCESS in my pink maids outfit. Well hopefully tonight will be easy cause im off tomorrow and i need a break again. Cause this being owned by PRINCESS SIERRA is hard work, be careful what you ask for you just might get it..But its really worth it cause i get to call her right now!!!!!! Thats my favorite time of day, when i get to call my PRINCESS SIERRA the greatest mistress ever.

2002-08-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

Sat 720pm last night i wrote about how bad tuesday was and did not get to catch up on thurs and friday. i get mon. weds off thank god cause everynight on cam would kill me for sure. Thurs was pretty good one person was saying what a loser i was all night thru instant messages and then the money dom chat room, i forgot what his name is. He was messaging me at first while i was blowing up my new $25 air mattress, i finally get to use my new barbie sheets and comforter. It took me forever to pump up the bed cause i was using a little basketball pump, the mattress said their was a pump in box but it was nowhere to be found. Then the guy who was rippen me went into chat and told people to look at me on cam and see what a fool i was. Quickly about 10 people had cam on me, i told PRINCESS this guy was saying what a fool i was so lucky for me SHE went into chat to save me and tear this guy up. PRINCESS has great wit and SHE can keep up with anyone. PRINCESS also used this as a chance to humiliate me more SHE made me pump and pump even though i was so tired and sweaty. Now there was a lot of conversation going on in chat with about 15 people watching me pump up my bed. i tried to watch the screen and listen but PRINCESS would not let me telling me to keep pumping, i was exhausted but pumped away. Then i made the mistake of asking for a drink of water, and PRINCESS never one to miss an oppurtunity, quickly told me to get the pee SHE had been making me save. So naturally what came next was my piss drinking helmet. i filled up 2 glasses of pee in front of 20-25 people and drank away as PRINCESS timed me. When i finished i had to give the thumbs up sign. People continued to watch as PRINCESS then made me make up my barbie bed for everyone and decorate the walls with my hello kitty clock and most of my barbie wall hang ups. i had to save some wall hang ups for my dresser that im buying for about $40. Now that the bed was made up and decorations were hung i am feeling more at home. Sleeping on the floor has been tough the air mattress helps a lot. The other mistresses in chat all liked my new bedroom while the guys, even the slaves hated it. A few of them constantly tell me what a fool i am and how pathetic iam, a disgrace to the male gender. While that may or may not be true i cant figure out why these assholes are in a money dom chat room to begin with if they are so normal. Although when pressed most of the guys admit they are not normal, they say they are not as fucked up as me though. i guess that makes them feel better about themselves. i now iam really messed up, but i do truely love serving PRINCESS and trying to make her happy. i love when she is happy or laughs at the wierd stuff i do. i wish i could serve her even better and that i had more money to give her. All my sacrifice and humiliation feels worth it when i can talk to HER on the phone or see HER on cam.
Friday night was a little more rough then thursday. i wore my new dalmation outfit with the ears and tail. PRINCESS then sent me in chat an announce on the "talk microphone". What i had to say was "roof roof PRINCESS says its time for dindin". Which meant i had to eat a whole can of dog food on webcam, that was not easy. i had to eat real slow too cause if i ate too fast i was gonna puke. i think i grossed out more people in chat than i amused, but PRINCESS doesnt care about that i think sometimes SHE just wants to show everyone what a bitch SHE can be and how much power SHE has over me. After i finished the dog food i had to go put my face in the toilet for about 20 minutes, the hardest part of that is that your knees get very sore after a while. Once during that 20 minutes i kind of got off my knees and sort of sat on the floor with my head still in the toilet but PRINCESS who was with her girlfriend most of the night and just checking the cam periodically, caught me and told me no one said i could get comfortable, so i had to get back on my knees. PRINCESS and her friend or lover iam not sure sat around and watched a movie while i was in the bathroom with my head in the toilet. Finally SHE let me out and sent me out of chat while THEY enjoyed the rest of the night. i cleaned up my messy face and dog tray. Then i went to sleep in my new barbie bed, alone of course, unless you count ever ready teddy.

2002-08-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

Friday 11pm havent written in a long time. i served PRINCESS on tues, thurs and tonight. Tuesday i cant talk about it was too gruesome. You have to see in members section of fagarina.com. Lets just say i paid a heavy, heavy price for not doing that video on time like i should have on sunday night. i dont think i explained that after i did 2 takes on sunday PRINCESS wanted me to do it over a 3rd time but i already undressed. The takes were of the bumble bee video. PRINCESS said she didnt care and that i should do it again. Believe it or not i left thinking it would ok, oh what a bad move that was. Needless to say i more than paid the price for my disobediance. Its was the first time i disobeyed PRINCESS and i thought the penalty was way too harsh, too bad PRINCESS SIERRA didnt. it was a dumb move on my part the 3rd take and getting dressed again would have only taken 20-30 minutes. Considering what i had to do it would have been well worth it.

2002-08-18T16:49:00.000-07:00

Sunday 720pm just finished the flight of the bumble bee video a little bit ago. i made 2 last night but they werent quite good enough for PRINCESS SIERRA so i had to redo it today. its about a minute long and i am sure it will be on HER site soon. Its pretty pathetic PRINCESS has me flying around like a bee to the music which you can hear and then i have to play with myself also to the rythm of the bumble bee arrangement. i leave my yellow nylons down during part of the flight to you can see my little wiener flopping around. What a fool iam.
i also called the furniture place today and ordered PRINCESS'S new bedroom set its very nice and expensive $5000. iam sending them a cashier check for a 1/3 of the bill tomorrow. The only thing PRINCESS is not happy about is that the set is from Italy and could take up to 12-16 weeks to recieve, that doesnt fly well with PRINCESS.
Last night on cam was kind of slow i dressed up like a bumble bee for everyone and flew around a little it was pathetic. i also made the 2 video takes. Princess had me try on the adult baby costume that i had bought that afternoon for HER but no one really watched me on cam at that time.
i did get lucky and had the privledge of speaking to PRINCESS on the phone for at least an hour. SHE told me what a wimp i am and how much she is going to continue to control me cause i like it and need it. "you are as wimpy and sissyish as anyone I have met for this short of a time span SHE laughed". Now iam going to prove to you how much you need ME and like being used by ME SHE said. i was wearing my baby outfit at this time, when PRINCESS told me move toward the webcam and pull down your diaper let me see your little wiener. i did as told and SHE laughed at how small it was like SHE always does. "We're going to do a little experiment to prove how much you like paying and suffer for your PRINCESS. your little floppy penis will magically grow and get totally erect while I remind you of how I much I dicked you out of and humiliate you." Not knowing why it would get hard i asked, what do YOU mean". Then SHE started telling me how much i liked buying the furniture for HER, how i liked spending $4000-$5000 for HER, how i liked HER controlling my bank accts, how i was such a sissy and a total wimp that SHE could make me do anything for HER. As PRINCESS was telling me this i got very hard without touching myself at all, my little dick was standing straight at attention for HER and all SHE did was tell me what a wimp iam. PRINCESS then made me pull up my diaper with my dick still standing at attention, and then SHE took a picture on cam to show everyone how SHE controls me. my diaper looked like a little tent. As again PRINCESS laughed and told me what a fool i was and how SHE likes me and HER other slaves hard because were so easy to control that way. Thank God all women are not as smart as PRINCESS SIERRA because many guys would be doomed for life.

2002-08-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

Its sat 810 pm ive been writing for 30 minutes and just lost everything, iam so stupid, its no wonder PRINCESS SIERRA, always tells me dont think just do what i tell you. Today was a busy day a lot of shopping for PRINCESS. First i had to buy more costumes to keep HER entertained which isnt easy. i bought an adult baby costume with a big blue goofy hat, and a matching bib. i also added to my pig outfit with new ears and tail, and i bought dalmation dog ears and tail to go with the dog food, dog tray, dog toys, dog bone, dog collar and leash PRINCESS made me buy yesterday. Finally i bought a bumble bee outfit with wings, which iam wearing now and will have to perform later on cam with. PRINCESS wants me to do a "flight of the bumble bee" video. iam sure that will be very silly and humiliating. i also have to mention how embarassing it is to buy this stuff at the costume store, the clerks must think iam a freak. i just bought tinkerbell yesterday from the same clerks.
i also had to shop for PRINCESS'S new bedroom set, since the one she originally wanted was discontinued. SHE was able to stay in the $4500-$5000 range unfortunately. PRINCESS does have very good taste, even the furniture people think so. "Your wife or girlfriend has excellet taste sir". Yeah right i think, PRINCESS is my wife or girlfriend sure SHE is. As i stand there in my panties under my regular clothes, PRINCESS made me cut up all my mens underwear on cam.
Backtracking to thursday night it started out easy just wearing some sissy things PRINCESS sent me. A pink tank top that says kiss kiss on it along with my new pink lacey panties that i really like and a band on my head that has flower petals sticking up. i look like a total sissy fool which is just what PRINCESS loves. It got rougher as the night went on PRINCESS made me paint my head with water colors and try to put a big capital L on my forhead. i did that it was very messy and no fun plus you can see my face too good but its really too late to worry about that. PRINCESS has way too many pictures posted where you can tell who i am. Then it got really rough later as PRINCESS wanted to make me cry. SHE threatened to take all my money if i did not give her some more personal information and kept doing it till i gave in. SHE just wanted to make me cry, that was her reason for doing it. It worked i cried for HER on cam. While SHE laughed like crazy telling me i am the biggest wimp, sissy fairy SHE ever dominated. And totally controlled so fast, SHE owns me.
Then came friday night. i called PRINCESS on the way home to see what SHE had planned for the night. SHE told me to go to the costume store and look for something funny and sissyish. i got there 10 minutes before they closed and found the tinkerbell outfit i knew PRINCESS would love that. The tellers looked at me kind of weird, but what could i do, i have to do what PRINCESS says,believe me i whine a lot about these shopping trips, but PRINCESS always gets her way. So i called PRINCESS as soon as i left the store, she was gonna workout but that got canceled, so SHE told me to go home and get dressed on cam immediately. i did. i was very excited to show PRINCESS what a sissy i looked like.
PRINCESS then took stills and had me pose for her and the chat room. Later after performing as tinkerbell PRINCESS sent me in a sissy chat room and had me get out my piss helmet. i filled 2 pretty big glasses with my pee and put them in my helmet, getting ready to drink. Guys in this chat room never saw this before and were messaging me like crazy, telling me i was a disgrace to thier gender. Another said "hey fagarina iam fucked up but you take the cake you are a total freak. Anyways PRINCESS gave me the word and i drank both glassses without stopping. The pee was pretty strong and i felt sick the rest of the night. PRINCESS has a friend over so SHE gave me the rest of the night off at about 11:15, which was great for me cause i was super tired and felt sick from drinking all that pee.

2002-08-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

its friday already and i havent written since tues evening. i had to perform on tues after i finished my journal, had weds off (as usual) and performed a little on thurs night. Princess had me put my white balarina outfit with the little tutu on tues night and dance for quite a while..some people seemed to like it and make requests. i danced like a ferry first, then got a request for a strip tease. i dont know why someone would want to see me naked, but i try to fulfill reasonable requests PRINCESS says i have too. (but no cumming or jacking off without HER permission). i did the strip tease, pulled the thigh highs off and threw them tried all the stripper tricks. Once i was naked didnt know what to do so i sucked a big dildoe for a bit then got out a smaller skinnier one, (believe it or not i hate anal, but a good slave needs to learn it). Remember the sausage with Princess on cam a month ago, cant believe i got it in.i proceeded to use the small one and fucked my ass then got up and danced with it still in. Naturally Princess got pics, SHES great and sneaky with that camera, you think SHES not watching next thing you know there are pics all over HER website of me. After that scarey sight i just talked to people back an forth on messanger, people want to know why im such a freak, how awesome and mean is PRINCESS SIERRA. Just lots of good questions, the guys mostly say they want to be her slave too but say iam too carried away with it.....yeah id have to agree. i cant go out at all, 5 nights iam on cam, she has all my bank accts, work address, paypal card, and im buying a bedroom set,,,,,think iam carried away i ,,,,,yes iam
i forgot to mention when i got home tuesday i called PRINCESS SIERRA almost right away, and started to put on my sissy clothing, as we were talking their was a real loud knock on my apt. door. it was so loud PRINCESS heard it on the phone and wanted me to answer it, i was too scared and already dressed like a wimp, so i didnt. i yelled "who is it" trying to be tough but PRINCESS just laughed her butt off saying i sounded like a scared little pussy boy. We left it at that. Later after dancing,stripping, and everything i realized it was probably a delivery, no one knows i live here. Turns out it was a delivery, a package of stuff PRINCESS ordered, panties(which was good cause i need more know that i wear them everyday), pink shorts, and a blue pajama bottom with a bikini top. i spent the rest of the night trying everything on it was fun showing them to PRINCESS. After that SHE made me take stills of them theres a bunch on the site. Finally at 130 we were done and i went to bed but i got to call PRINCESS at 200 and talk to HER for a bit, it makes it all worth it. Although 630 for work comes awful early.

2002-08-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

i cant believe its tuesday already i should have wrote about sunday but i was too whipped when it was over. PRINCESS SIERRA had me on for 5 hours. First i had to dress up in my new pink french maid outfit its very sissyish even has a petticoat under it,( white).First i had to vacuum my new apt after i got dressed on cam, then i dusted with my new pink feather duster.But before i could start dusting PRINCESS SIERRA had me put the handle of the feather duster up my ass for the cam after that i sucked on handle for HER. You can see pics of all this on fagarina.com.
So after dusting it was time to clean the bathroom and scrub the bathtub in my sissy outfit. After the bathroom PRINCESS sent me into the kitchen to scrub the floor on my hands and knees, all this was live on cam. PRINCESS then left for a while to get a bite to eat but told me to keep on entertaining, so i had to act like a fairy for about an hour, thats easy for me to do since iam one. i jumped rope for quite a bit with my sissy maid outfit on. Jumping rope is very tiring and i actually worked up a sweat, PRINCESS actually has me losing weight with all the fagarobics i have been doing iam down 10lbs in a couple months, since ive been a full time servant of PRINCESS. Peeing on dinner probably has helped a lot too.
So after jumping rope PRINCESS decided it was time for dinner and what a sick dinner SHE had in mind. i knew it too cause in preperation for this i had been saving my pee when i peed at home for 2 days. PRINCESS had me pee in a pot after jumping rope than i added the pee i had been saving to the pot. SHE than had me boil the pot full of pee, man did it stink up the kitchen, i was worried about the neighbors it was so bad. When the pee boiled i had to add spaghetti to it, while cooking the spaghetti SHE had me work on some sauce. i had to put a 1/2 of a tube of toothpaste in the sauce and 2 scoops of peanut butter. After everything was ready i had to eat the spaghetti and sauce on cam in front of 15 people. And for those who dont know PRINCESS, SHE doesnt take no for an answer i had to eat 80% of it even though i cooked too much. It was terrible i almost puked,SHE wanted me to puke so i could it that for the people watching, PRINCESS is such a bitch sometimes its unreal,,,just no mercy, this is way deeper than i ever anticipated. i still love her but she can be so mean. Later i had to put my face in the part i didnt eat, pour it on my head and pose for pics. Than i had to stand in a corner with my panties down to my knees my hello kitty apron on and the blinds partially opened, thank god no one saw me (i think), i just moved here these people are tough too theyll kick my ass if they find out what a sissy iam. Finally after all that and more pics PRINCESS let me have the rest of sunday off. but that was about 5 hours and it took me another hour to clean the mess up. Oh i forgot to tell you when i drained the spaghetti out of the pot PRINCESS had me save the boiled pee water to drink...thank god during the dinner and all the picture taking, and the craziness of chat room going on SHE forgot to make me drink the boiled pee. iam sure SHE'LL make me do it some other time.
THANK GOD i get mondays off i really needed it.

2002-08-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

its saturday night and im a little more moved in i bought groceries,cleaning stuff and bathroom items today. i still have to buy my sissy twin bed to go with PRINCESS SIERRA'S $2000 bed. i also need furniture for the living room. i have other furniture but iam not bringing it here cause if i pick it up my friends will want to help me bring it here and PRINCESS already had me decorate the bathroom in pink ( a hello kitty shower curtain, pink towels, disneys princess towels, and a pink toilet seat cover). i also think princess wants to take my good furniture from me for her house she says i dont need it, im not really ready to do that yet, i hope i can stop her she makes me so weak. i always give in and do what she wants.
shes out tonight and i have to stay online and perform while she has fun drinking and partying with her friends. i have on my yellow daisy dress and bonnet with thigh high white stockings or nylons(whatever they are called). i already played twister with rico, several rounds its tiring playing a lot you get in weird postitions and have to hold yourself up, i posed with everready teddy too. later ill probably pee in my face. this all goes on in the chat room so if people want to watch the cam they can. quite a few do. most mistresses laugh, some slaves like it and always want me to show my dick or ass or jackoff or other wierd requests, then other people tell me what a freak i am, a loser, or a disgrace to males ( like i dont know any of that, you think normal people do the crazy shit i do). some even try to get me to leave princess sierra, thats not gonna happen, like i have a choice anyways, with all the info she has on me i couldnt leave if i wanted too. i better start performing again its only 1008 and princess wont be home for 4 hours plus MS. VENUS is watching and she tells PRINCESS if iam too boring on cam. but i do have PRINCESS'S permission to writein the journal when iam on cam.

2002-08-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

Well here i am, what a difference 2 months makes. i was living in a nice condo with a garage and 2 bedrooms now iam in a 1 bdr apt. in kind of a lousy area, although it is safe. which is good for a wimp like me. i used to just call PRINCESS SIERRA once in a while and give Her some of the little money i had now iam Her full time sissy slave and must serve Her in some way everyday. and i have not even met Her yet but i know i love Her and will do anything for Her. She is so superior and She is my owner making most of my decisions. yep what a difference 2 months makes.
i always wanted to serve Her more but i never thought id be in this deep. but the more i talk to Her and serve Her the more i love Her and want to serve Her and be humiliated by Her, thats why i am sitting here alone tonight waiting for Her to come home from partying with Her friends, while i sit here dressed like a sissy. all i can do is think of Her. She has totally taken over my life, i thought if i just performed on cam and took pictures that She would not expect much else. boy oh boy was i wrong. PRINCESS SIERRA has all my important private info where i work, soc. sec. #, address you name Shes got it. She has the passwords to my checking and savings accts( She set them up i am too dumb to do that) so She totally controls what i spend and where i spend it. She sees all the transactions so She knows if i spend it on something iam not allowed iam in big trouble. (probably hot sauce on my little dick which is incredible pain i hate it).
yesterday PRINCESS SIERRA made me go to 2 different stores (kmart&walmart) to buy a bunch of sissy stuff for my new apt. it was very embarassing being told over the cell phone to buy barbie bedspreads, bed sheets, pillow cases, wall hangers, pink towels and carpets for the bathroom, disneys princess towels, fluffy pink slippers and other sissy items. try bringing all that stuff up to a cashier sometime in front of another 20-30 people. and i like humiliation from PRINCESS but i hate public humiliation it sucks.
i have a lot more shopping to do also, i am getting a $100 twin bed and another $100 white dresser while PRINCESS SIERRA is going to get a$2000 bed with a $1600 dresser and a $800 mirror after taxes iam looking at almost 5 grand i have no idea how iam paying that off, but it doesnt matter thats what PRINCESS wants, and She gets what She wants trust me. PRINCESS thinks it will be funny for us to take matching picture poses on our respective beds me with my hand under my chin and feet in the air on my $100 bed and then another pic of PRINCESS with her hand under her chin and legs in the air while lieing on her stomach on her $2000 bed. shes right as usual it will be very funny, look for it on her site in about 10 weeks, i had to special order the furniture so its gonna take a while to get here.

2002-08-09T01:07:00.000-07:00

Bills, money, finances, financial servitude to PRINCESS SIERRA

$481 rent
$465 car payment
$150 gas
$100 utility
$ 50 phone
$ 50 dsl
$140 insurance
$100 Best Buy
$ 50 Hudson card
$200 Visa
($200 for furniture..but not for a few months)

Around $350 a week for PRINCESS

fagarina + PRINCESS = NO SAVINGS
Princess

WAYS to cut down on Spending
Move out of condo to cheaper apartment
No cable
No weekend fun
Only buy generic brand food

HOUSE RULES

Chop up all male underwear on cam
Must wear panties 24/7
Always wear sissy clothing while at home
No purchasing soda, no drinking tapwater, must drink from toilet while at home ALWAYS
No extracuricular activities without Princess' permission first
Keep a shrine to Princess

THINGS PURCHASED FOR SISSY PALACE
barbie bedspread
barbie sheets
barbie wall stickers
hello kitty bathcurtain
princess towels
pink bathroom stuff
yellow dress, panties and bonnets
pink and white dress, panties and bonnet
piss helmet
MS Venus sissy panties
Ms Venus days of the week panties
ballerina outfit
pink maid uniform
piggy wall decorations for kitchen
hello kitty piss apron
piggy chef hat
hello kitty wall clock
pink slippers
pink showercap
floral swimming cap
barbie wall border
baby bib
white bonnet
church hat
nightgown
pj's
excercise pants
beefcake poster

FAGARINA's TWO FRIENDS
rubber rico and everready teddy

THINGS PRINCESS MADE FAGARINA MISS
trip to Florida with brother
golf trip friends invited me too

Things I bought Princess
$5,000 furniture

Prelimary savings lost to Princess $1,400

Things Princess plans on taking from fagarina
401 K
$3,000 oak furniture
every little friend i ever had
Princess plans on having a ugly TV hooker take my virginity